Super Bowl Sunday is so close, you can almost taste it.
That may also be yesterday's nachos talking, but regardless—Super Bowl LI is, in fact, this Sunday, and that means it's time to once again embrace what we spend the rest of the year avoiding.
Commercials, of course.
This year the going rate for 30 seconds of air time was a reported $5 million, and that was before advertisers even knew the ratings-magnet New England Patriots would be playing. According to Variety, Fox had already sold 90 percent of its ad space by December—because no matter which teams make it, the Super Bowl remains the premier broadcast event for commercials. Nothing comes close, not the World Series, the Oscars—nothing.
And that is why the biggest brand names in America never fail to go all out for the Super Bowl.
With the stakes higher than ever, particularly since you don't have to go anywhere near a television on Sunday to catch every ad, the creativity is off the charts, production value is blockbuster-quality and the star wattage is major.
As always, some commercials will become instant classics, some will fall flat—and still others will be talked about for days for all the wrong reasons.
And. We. Can't. Wait.
In the meantime, you get to be the judge—and feel free to throw flags when needed. Here's your guide to every 2017 Super Bowl commercial—what's going to make you cry, who's getting political, what's already causing controversy and more:
Playing off the real-life travails of having your own domain name already snatched up online, John Malkovichprofanely fumes over an existing JohnMalkovich.com—and it's hilarious.